Vanilla!

Dear Vanilla.

What a difference two years makes…

You haven’t left my thoughts. Ever. Not even once. To put it quite simply, I miss you. I miss the way you would confide in me. I miss the stories you would unfold in my ears. I miss feeling your smile even if it was only on the phone. I miss every moment lived with you. I despise every moment without you. I miss the portrait I’ve painted of you with my mind. And I could spend hours trying to explain why it still hurts, but it’s quite complicated and all I know is that I miss you. And sometimes I’d rather not know that you miss me too.

I would love to know why the thought of you still keeps me restless at the oddest hours of the day, but what I would love even more is to know if I have the same effect on you. Your eyes are still my favorite place to get lost in. Your heart is still the only place I can call home. Your arms are the single greatest comfort I’ve come to know. And call me crazy, but I don’t think you’ll ever understand the effect your smile has on me.

I miss the paradoxical feeling of having my lungs filled with the sweetest air possible, yet still feel so breathless.It terrified me that I had the responsibility of catching you when you said you were falling in love with me after I confess my true feelings to you. I traded away the happiness I found in your hands that fit so perfectly with mine. I traded away the way you made me feel that nothing else has compared or even come close to. And I’m afraid that nothing ever will.

Think of this as a simple love letter- full of emotions I cannot express, telling you everything you should hear with the words only my heart could comprehend. You are everything when I’m convinced that I should be nothing at all. Simply put, thank you. For every second of your time, every ounce of your patience, every bit of your effort, and every drop of your love.For always

U are my vanilla.

Regards
Zai a.k.a imi